Recently, I’ve been doing really well waking up early in the mornings and doing my devotions and getting time in with God. I’ve been learning a lot, and the best part is, my boyfriend has been encouraging me the whole way! We will talk about what God is teaching us and showing us through our personal time with him! Getting in God’s word in the mornings, caused my days to be wonderful! I was always in a good mood and was ready to be Jesus to anybody and everybody!
I knew that by living for God every moment of the day and really indulging in his word, Satan was getting mad. He didn’t want to see me getting closer to God and serving him with every breath!
The attacks started last week. The first three days of the week I overslept and didn’t have time to get in my devotions. By Wednesday, I was annoyed and just wanted to scream. I got to school and accidentally knocked over a stand in the middle of the band room. All of a sudden, all attention was displayed on me…exactly what i did not want. Next, I ripped part of my purse I got in Guatemala. That just put me over the top. Walking with my best friend down the lower science hall, I burst into tears. Embarrassing. The day just got worse and worse from there. I’m so thankful for a boyfriend though that has encouraging words to say during anytime in life.
I was so excited the following day when I woke up on time, only to find out that we had a two hour delay due to snow. This upset me, because the one day I woke up, I didn’t need to. There we go again, and my day went down hill, once more.
Satan was really trying to poke at my nerves. He knew exactly what he was doing, and I was letting him. Not only was he messing with my emotions, he was tempting with me in every direction. I was falling into worldly acts that I shouldn’t have been participating in. And to make matters even worse, I didn’t feel that these acts were wrong. I was straying away from what God would want me to do. I had given up on devotions with God, and rarely spoke to him in prayer anymore.
One morning this week, I was watching Pretty Little Liars on my laptop, and I realized I was crazy. These were the thoughts going though my head: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? ARE YOU LOSING IT? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE LIVING FOR GOD NOT FOR THE WORLD! THE THINGS YOU’RE DOING ARE WRONG AND COULD LEAD YOU TO FURTHER SINNING. At that point I knew I was wrong. I knew the acts I had participated in were un-Godly. I knew I had become apart of the world.
After speaking with my boyfriend, and getting some insight from him, I knew I needed to repent to God. I had sinned against him non-stop for the whole week. As I became teary-eyed asking God to forgive me, I remembered that God’s unfailing love for me was always there. Even in times when I went well against him, he never stopped caring and loving me. My God is AWESOME!!!
I had a rough week, and turned my resentment towards God, and fell into the attacks and traps of Satan. But, with God’s help, I’ve been able to withstand these attacks!