I apologize if this blog is unorganized chaos! I’ve tried to put it into words as best as I can. All I can say is, it all makes since in my head!
A few years ago, Dnow, a weekend event for students at my church, was taking place. At the end of the sermon, the speaker asked three groups of people to come up to the front of the stage. The first group he asked to come and stand at the front with him, were the students who had just surrendered and given there life over to Christ. The next group were students who had strayed from the Lord, but he had been working in their lives that weekend. Last but not least, the third group. Students who felt God calling them to serve him in full time ministry. Whether it be becoming a pastor of a local church, starting a speaking ministry, or moving across the world to love on orphans who have no clue what love is, he asked the students to come forward. So, I stood up, not a bit hesitant, and walked up to the front. Now, my friends looked at me wondering why I walked up there. Everyone knew I was a strong Christian. But, I had felt that whole weekend that God was calling me to do something bigger and better with my life. I just didn’t know what.
A few months prior to all of this taking place, my mom had been to Liberia, Africa on a mission trip. Honestly, I had no desire for her to go and I was pretty selfish about the whole thing. That is, until she got back. When I saw pictures and videos from the trip…my heart started to change. I was starting to become more aware of the least of these. I was realizing that I was more blessed than many people around the world will ever be.
After Dnow was over, I shared with my mom my desire to use my life to share God’s love with other people. I had no idea what God had in store for me…and I still don’t know exactly, but this is when I began to wake up from the American dream.
The American Dream: Getting a decent job, marry your best friend, raise a family, live in a safe and secure environment, and retire happy.
This is my definition of the American Dream. Now, don’t get me wrong. If this is how you want to live your life…I think that is fine, as long as it is not centered around you and your main focus is God! I have some of these same desires! I want to marry my best friend. I want to have a family. But, I don’t want to live in the comfort America has to offer. It’s eating me alive!!
After I went on mission trips to Atlanta, GA and Guatemala (which you can read about in my earlier blogs from July and August) I started to realize that I was falling in love with the world. I’ve fallen in love with places, people, and cultures I’ve never even seen or heard of! I know that God is calling me to go and serve him somewhere else in this world! I want to know that my life will make a difference, even if it means I have to take risks. I don’t want the security America has to offer me anymore.
I love the adventure of jumping into a new culture not knowing what they’re saying! I love the idea of building relationships with people through actions instead of words because of a language barrier! I am honored at the fact that God could use a sinner like me to shake people’s world’s for him. I’ve been blessed with a boyfriend who is open to the idea of living a life of danger, filth, and persecution.
I have no idea how God will use me in this life! But, I do know that he has something big planned for me! I’m ready to take the leap of faith for him!